Ehi Santa! Are you doin’?
You know I always think of you ( of course you know! You can read anybody’s mind! ), I couldn’t wait to write you again, I’m thrilled!
My parents tried to convince me that you don’t exist, that they make me find the Xmas gifts under the tree from 30 years, bla bla bla, … evil insensitive liars! They always tell m the same … dreary! What are tryin’ to do? I know they want me with them at home forever.
Oh, c’mon! Anybody knows that God’s not real, and the virgin Mary ( virgin! Ah! ), and the wise men and the comet to Bethlehem and all that shit …. but you …. you’re there, with the Rudolphs and Dancers and Prancers and elfs working hard and smiley to give us a bit of happiness … only you can understand me, Santa!
Listen, I’ve been good all the year long ( and you know how hard it is for me ), I was good with my family, respected the others ( just forget the 3 or 4 punchs up I was told to have uncorked while I was drunk …or were they more?! Oh, and the child I made fall on the sauce can pile at the supermarket … oh, and the car of that dummy hippy I scratched from side to side, and ….mhm,nothing… )
… what was I saying?!Oh, yes! I’ve been so good all the year long, and as I know you’re really busy in these days, I just make one wish, let’s say one big and long-lasting.
I want lots of snow, all the season long and beyond, if you could… let’s say until June…yes, June can be ok!
But not simply “snow all the season long”, no, I mean meters and meters of snow, like freeriding and not being able to step out if I fall. I’m sure it’s quite easy for you to make me happy, you just need to blow to the sky to let snow …. for instance while you’re waitin’ for your pasta to be cooked before dinner. It would be wasted time looking at the pot, simply be multitasking ( and let it scnow when the chairlifts are closed!).
I must admit, I see you already begun … sure, you knew what I wanted! Good for me, it means I was a good boy indeed.
Oh, yes, last but not least … if you are around and want to pass to me in the next days, I don’t know, maybe for a break during the gifts delivery, no problem at all! You know you’re always welcome. We could have bbq and beer, you should see the new grid I got…awesome! No reindeer meat this year, I promise! Come at any time, but call me before, you know, I’m so busy lately with all those chicks around.
Take care and keep in touch. And don’t fly naked! You’re not so young anymore.